Graduating college can be an exciting but terrifying time: It’s easy to get intimidated by the “real world” and your confidence can take a hit as you try to navigate adulthood. Lydia Fenet knows this struggle all too well: At Christie’s, where she started as an intern, Fenet has worked her way up to Managing Director and Global Head of Strategic Partnerships, with both missteps and triumphs along the way. Now with her new book, The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You: Command an Audience and Sell Your Way to Success, Fenet is ready to impart her insights on confidence and share advice for graduates from powerful women like Martha Stuart and Nina Garcia. We got a chance to chat with Lydia and best believe, we’re feeling empowered! Ahead, hear how this boss lady always commands a room, why she believes so strongly in giving back, and score helpful career and life advice for college graduates looking to find their own voices.
Lulus: So what inspired you to write this book?
Lydia Fenet: I have spent the past sixteen years as an auctioneer raising money for non-profits around the world. I know what it feels like to have confidence in my voice. I wrote this book to inspire other women to use their voice to go after what they want in life–and help other women along with them while they do it.
Lulus: Why is this kind of advice for new graduates so important?
LF: I found leaving college to be one of the hardest transitions in life; one minute I was in an environment where people were responsible for giving life advice all day every day, surrounded by friends and a community of people focused on learning. The day after graduation I was dropped into the real world, responsible for making all of my own decisions and figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. I found the transition to be lonely and frankly, a little terrifying. I wish that someone had prepared me for that transition, and given me tips to navigate those post-college/early working years. I wrote this book in hopes that it will give young women a road map to help them in their journey so that they can learn from my failures and successes and live the life they want to live.
Lulus: Why do you think women tend to have a harder time asserting themselves or being heard in business environments?
LF: I think it is two-fold: I think, until recently, we were used to being talked over or discounted in meetings. We were also worried about being perceived as “aggressive” or self-promoting. I talk about this a lot in The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You because I want women to understand that it is good to promote yourself: No one will ever know your strengths like you–so don’t be afraid to tell everyone you know! Ultimately that kind of self-confidence will draw people to you, and help you succeed in business.
Lulus: Is there a quick trick that always works for you to calm nerves in stressful settings like interviews and business meetings?
LF: I call it “The Strike” because whenever I walk onstage to take an auction, I hammer down my gavel three times and then immediately launch into a sentence that I have memorized. It helps me feel like I am in control of the room, eases my nerves, and shows everyone in the audience that I am the only one in charge until I walk off the stage. Although you can’t bring a gavel into most meetings, letting yourself pause, focusing your mind, and leading with a sentence that you have already memorized will help you feel confident every time.
Lulus: So good to know! Is there a style or dress code you’ve followed that’s helped in your success?
LF: I am almost six feet tall, so I learned a long time ago to keep it simple. When I was growing up, very few companies made pants for tall women so I always wore skirts and dresses because pants were always ankle length (and not in a fashionable way–in a “these pants are too short” kind of way). I wear tailored, colorful dresses and distinctive accessories to help make the look pop. You have to wear what works for you, but never be afraid to be the one who is more dressed up than everyone else.
Lulus: Love that. Any tips for helping women discover the career that’s right for them?
LF: I always suggest that people look for paid internships in college to try out different industries. When I was younger I always thought I would go into politics but after doing an internship in the Senate, I quickly realized that it was not something that I wanted to do long term.
Lulus: What’s the one piece of advice you’d give to every new female graduate?
LF: Take every opportunity offered to you and maximize it.
Lulus: You’ve raised a ton of money for nonprofits in your life–something women often don’t focus on when they are just starting out in their careers. How important to you is giving back? Aside from personal development, of course, can it help with career development?
LF: So incredibly important. Find something that you are truly passionate about and get involved. Not only will you feel fulfilled by volunteering for a cause that you are personally interested in, but you will interface with other people who feel pulled to a similar mission. Volunteering is such an amazing way to meet new people.
Lulus: Anything else you want new grads (or women in general) to know?
LF: No one else can chart your path. Figure out what you want out of life and tell everyone around you so that you have people who hold you accountable for reaching your goals.
Was Lydia’s advice for graduates helpful to you? Tell us how in the comments!
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