engagement season when you aren't getting engaged - how to deal with feeling single

Yes, it’s engagement season- the period between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day when it feels like just about every single person you know is getting proposed to. Spoiler alert: they’re not–but we understand the feeling. If you’re single or waiting for a proposal that hasn’t happened, getting bombarded with engagement pics and ring selfies via social media for weeks on end can be seriously discouraging, not to mention isolating (raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like the last non-engaged person on Earth). It can even make you question where you are in your life as compared to everyone else and well, that sucks.

To be clear: getting engaged (and married) is not something everyone wants or needs. But if marriage is something you envision for your future, watching ‘everyone else’ get engaged can be extremely tough. You’re only human, after all. So take a breath, step back, and read on to see how you’re gonna make it through the season (we promise).

Remember: Not everyone is getting married. Millennials are actually waiting longer (ie: until they have their lives and careers more sorted out) to get hitched and research states the percentage of young people married and living on their own has actually dropped by more than 50% since the 1960s. So remind yourself that your Insta feed only represents a handful of people you know–it doesn’t tell the whole story. You may not be engaged or married, but you’re definitely not alone. Perspective is everything.

Consider a social media break. It’s not mandatory that you keep abreast of what’s happening in everyone else’s lives at all times–especially not if it’s making you feel inadequate about your own life. So avoid the “compare and despair” trap by logging off for as long as you need. You’ll find a little distance will help clear your head (and give you that much-needed perspective we just talked about).

Remind yourself: Your current situation is not your final destination. The only constant in life is change. While you may be frustrated that you’re not getting what you want right now, that doesn’t mean this is how things will stay forever. The same is actually true of your newly-engaged pals, too. We all experience joy and sadness and everything in between, just at different times.

Focus on what you do have. Are you killing it at your job? Are you a really good friend? Have you been sticking to your New Year’s resolutions like a boss? Heck, do your eyebrows look amazing? Whatever you can be proud of and thankful for, go on and congratulate yourself. Marriage isn’t the ultimate measure of a successful human being–there is plenty else you can and should feel good about.

Try to have a sense of humor about it. When all else fails, laugh, dammit. If you need help in that department, allow us to suggest you click on Not Engaged on Instagram and “follow the adventures of me and my unwed left hand as we realize things are ok.” Trust us, you won’t be sorry.

What’s your tip for surviving engagement season on social media? Tell us in the comments!