Emily McDowell wants people to get real. The founder of Emily McDowell & Friends creates greeting cards and gifts that capture the emotions humans actually experience. Her famous empathy cards (and more) are honest, funny, and authentic, which is likely why the collection is so beloved. We talked with McDowell about the art of human connection, prioritizing self-care, and the one thing she’d tell her younger self.
Lulus: Tell us about the Emily McDowell & Friends brand–what’s your mission and how did you start?
Emily McDowell: I’m a writer, illustrator, and entrepreneur. I spent 10 years working in advertising before launching the Emily McDowell Studio brand, making “greeting cards for the relationships we really have.” Our mission is to make things that help people feel understood, make people laugh, and make people feel more connected to each other.
The brand started out as an Etsy shop selling prints of my illustrations, and in 2012, I ended up transitioning into making greeting cards. After one of my initial cards went super-viral, I took that as proof of concept. I created my first wholesale collection, which launched to retailers in May of 2013. Over the years, we’ve added gift products like mugs, tote bags, and journals. Today, we sell our products online and in about 2,000 [global] retailers.
Lulus: Why start with greeting cards?
EM: I was inspired to start writing cards because at the time, I felt like my voice (and the voice of people like me) wasn’t represented in the cards I saw in stores. I saw an opportunity to create cards designed for the kinds of relationships I had, and I knew lots of others did, too. Making cards also allowed me to combine my writing and illustration skills, plus my love for psychology and human observations, in a really fun, interesting way.
On a practical level, cards are also very inexpensive and simple to produce. I was able to start the company on $5,000 in savings with no outside funding! Once the company was more established, and we had a revenue stream to invest in manufacturing, we started making other products.
Lulus: Why do you think people have responded so well to your brand?
EM: It’s empowering and comforting to see things out in the world that validate our experiences, particularly the kinds of experiences we don’t often talk about because we think we’re alone in having them. I think our products resonate so well with customers because folks connect with them on a heart level, not just a brand level.
We also work hard to create original content–not just recycling trends–and I like to think customers appreciate this. I joke that whenever a customer asks if we’ve been reading their diary, I know I’m doing my job right, but there’s real truth in this. Any time someone can see a product and think “Oh, that’s SO me” or even better, “OMG, it’s not JUST me!?” it fosters a strong and lasting connection with the brand.
Lulus: You have a category devoted solely to empathy cards for people experiencing major illness, grief, and loss. Why is this so important to you?
EM: I had cancer when I was 24, and the hardest thing about it was the loneliness and isolation I felt when people in my life disappeared because they didn’t know what to say. In our culture, most of us don’t learn how to talk about illness and death, but the irony is that these times are when we’re most in need of human connection. Many traditional “get well soon” and sympathy/empathy cards don’t really help people find the words they struggle to find on their own. They often contain platitudes that can be hard to hear when you’re going through a difficult time. With Empathy Cards, I wanted to create something that helped people going through a hard time feel seen and heard. [I also wanted to help] friends and family to find the authentic-feeling words of support they often aren’t able to come up with on their own.
Lulus: We are big fans of the Everyday Bravery Pins–what was the inspiration behind these?
EM: The idea for Everyday Bravery Pins came from the realization that some of life’s biggest, hardest achievements aren’t necessarily the ones we usually celebrate. We recognize the hard work that goes into achieving traditional, external goals like promotions and graduations. But we don’t tend to give ourselves and each other credit for accomplishing our internal goals. A ton of hard work goes into making these kinds of inner changes. I wanted to create something that would help honor that success.
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Lulus: What does bravery mean to you? What types of courage can women practice every day?
EM: To me, we demonstrate bravery any time we take action despite the presence of fear or resistance. I’ve learned that the only way for me to get comfortable with something I don’t know how to do, or something I have an emotional block around (i.e., “I’m not good at that,” or “I’m not the kind of person who can do that,”) is by DOING THE THING, and then realizing afterward that I didn’t die of shame.
Trying new things isn’t uncomfortable in and of itself. The discomfort is caused by the harsh self-judgments we impose on ourselves when we’re out of our element, the feelings of “I’m not good enough” that come up when we’re pushed to our edges. The more time we spend working with those feelings, the easier it becomes to undertake daily acts of bravery. “What if it turns out I suck?” stops being such a painful question.
Lulus: Your brand is grounded in self-care, authenticity, and openness about mental health. How do you take care of yourself emotionally?
EM: I read books that aren’t about business. I spend time outside. I meditate and do breathwork. I make deliberate time to see the people I love. I’ve let go of relationships that didn’t feel nourishing. I’ve cut way down on social media. I write in a journal. I have a face-washing ritual, and I prioritize sleep. The biggest one, a continuous practice, has been learning to step outside of myself and observe my thoughts and feelings. [It’s] a way to prevent myself from getting caught in them.
Lulus: Why did you start a second Instagram account, @emilyonlife?
EM: Over the last couple of years, I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and undergoing somewhat of a personal transformation–what feels like becoming more of who I truly am. I really enjoy writing about this process and it seems to really resonate with people. I also wanted to be careful that it didn’t take over the Emily McDowell & Friends Instagram account, which is primarily about the brand and products. So it felt right to give this other kind of writing its own social media space.
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Lulus: What is your favorite thing about what you do?
EM: I find it greatly rewarding every time I can use my personal experience and gifts to help people find a deeper connection with others and with their true selves. This sometimes comes from creating our products, but more often it’s a byproduct of other kinds of leadership that I’ve taken on over the years as a result of running this brand.
I also find a lot of joy in the process of identifying universal truths about being human and finding new ways to express those truths that people haven’t seen before. I love that we have an opportunity to help solve our customers’ problems by providing them with the words they want to say, but aren’t able to come up with on their own.
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Lulus: What advice would you give your younger self?
EM: Hey, younger self: Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. Remember to check in with yourself about what path feels right for you. Prioritize those choices over ones based on pure logic, fear, or the opinions of others.
Did Emily inspire you to connect with yourself or others? Tell us in the comments!
(Images via Emily McDowell)
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